


Two Truths and a Lie

by Mikazuki_Nika



Series: Playing Games [2]
Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Lies, M/M, Misunderstandings, One Night Stands, Post-Black Organization Takedown (Meitantei Conan), Post-Conan Kudou Shinichi, no beta we die like men, reverse storytelling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:28:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22456483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikazuki_Nika/pseuds/Mikazuki_Nika
Summary: Which of these is the lie? (Who is the liar?)A.) I'm fine, I'm just tired. (Kuroba Kaito.)B.) I slept with Ran. (Kudou Shinichi.)C.) Kaito is still the person I love the most! (Nakamori Aoko.)
Relationships: Kudou Shinichi | Edogawa Conan/Kuroba Kaito | Kaitou Kid
Series: Playing Games [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615897
Comments: 15
Kudos: 158





	1. Void

**Author's Note:**

> I grouped this work together with Puzzle Pieces because they have the same theme, but this can be read on its own.  
> Whether it has anything to do with the previous work is up to you.

Kuroba Kaito just wants to be accepted.

It’s what everyone wants, really. Someone by their side. It doesn’t even have to be that fated person.

Anyone is fine.

Kuroba Kaito just wants to be accepted, but he has a horrible, miserable tendency to search for it in all the wrong people. Not Akako, because there is always a price. Not Saguru, because there is always a question. Not Aoko, because there is always doubt.

Not Kudou Shinichi, because there is always-

Not this guy, either.

“I’m putting it in, okay?”

Kaito grunts. He’d put it in whether Kaito was ready or not. They’ve gone too far for any kind of backing out now.

He’d been laying against the bedsheets almost lifelessly until this point, letting the pleasure flood his brain and smother his endless, repeating thoughts, but now, Kaito comes alive.

...What was this guy’s name again?

Ah, but it feels good. It feels good, and that’s why he can’t stop. Not with strangers, not with old friends, not even with the girls who had the misfortune to fall in love with him seriously.

“You know… it’s like, you’re here with me, doing all this stuff, but at the same time, you’re not,” one of them had said, hugging her arms across her naked chest and staring out of the big hotel windows. “Like if I look away too long, the wind might just come in and… blow you away from here.”

Kaito hears a chuckle above him, pulling him out of his reverie. “Ehh, what? I didn’t realize you were the type to cry during something like this.”

He turns his head away with a dark smile as a hot, flat tongue laps at the outer corner of his eye.

_ Disgusting. _

Yes, it’s all disgusting, he acknowledges as he washes everything off soon after, his “friend” long gone. There is certainly nothing lovely about the way he’s been going about this. A pale hand runs down a wet stomach, water raining down and flowing.

_ “Well, that’s how it is, so-” _

_ “Bullshit, Shinichi-” _

_ “I have to go.” _

If he stands just right, the shower water blends in with and takes away his tears.

Acceptance. In the first place, what does he mean by “acceptance?” Does he want a lover? ...No, he decides, thinking back along the string of people he’s visited these last few months. That’s not it. Not particularly. Then, what? Friends? That’s funny, he already has plenty of those. Ah, but-

None of them know about Kaitou KID.

That must be it. Everything, everything, comes back to KID. He can’t leave that house because it has the KID room. He can’t apply to that university because it’s too far for a commute. He can’t launch his career because magicians often do night shows. He can’t be friends with that person because they might-

Sometimes, he hates his father for ruining his life like this. For saddling him with possibly-meaningless duty. For passing the mantle, for making his mother cry so much, for dying so soon. If Kaitou KID had never come into his life...

Limitation upon limitation.

He’d be in Aoko’s arms right now, the two of them smiling happily, if only she weren’t a limitation too.

But there  _ had  _ been someone. Someone who’d blown away all of his expectations, who’d been an outlier in all of Kaito’s calculations. He still dreams of those windy rooftops, so high above the ground that the streets below need to scream to be heard. But he also dreams of those lowly-lit paths with those glimpses of yukata patterns and wooden sandals, the strings of lanterns and the stalls of food, the hand wrapped tightly around his.

Behind his eyelids, he sees bright fireworks falling into the dark water.

Books and the ever-lingering smell of coffee. Laundry detergent, shampoo, that playlist of 80s Jpop he likes to listen to when he’s working, singing in the background.

Touches and words that roll over him like ocean waves, the inside always so frightening.

_ “You don’t have to come over anymore.” _

_ “What do you mean?” _

Kaito winces when the back of his head hits the wall with a bang. He glares at Hakuba Saguru, who has one hand roughly pinning his shoulder to the wall with fingertips that dig in too deep.

Saguru was always digging, digging too deep before Kaito was ready.

“What in the name of heaven is going on with you?!” He hisses right into Kaito’s face. His eyes, red like Safranin, are heatedly searching his own for answers.

Kaito lazily turns his chin away. Then, flatly, “Oh, hey. Haven’t seen you in a while, Sagu- _ Hakuba,” _ he corrects, throat tight. “What’s up?”

“‘What’s up?’ ‘What’s up’ with  _ me?  _ What’s up with  _ you,  _ Kuroba? There are some nasty rumors going around about you right now, you know!”

He can’t help it, Kaito laughs. His reputation is the last thing on his mind.

_ “Rest assured,”  _ it’s like he can hear that rushed, tense voice crinkling over the speaker pressed tightly to his ear. _ “I still don’t have any intention of turning you into the police or giving them any information about you.” _

His identity had been the last thing on his mind back then, too.

“I’m fine, Hakuba,” he says, finally looking at the blond and passing up a small grin. 

“No, you’re not. Look at you,” he says, voice thick with surprise and worry. “Have you been eating anything at all?”

Kaito’s left eye twitches. “It’s nothing, I’m just tired.”

“Of?”

Kaito makes a vague gesture, gives a vague smile. “Everything.”

_ When will everyone stop saying goodbye? _

He leaves Hakuba behind.

Searching for pleasure in order to forget. Searching for instant gratification in order to fill a void. Searching for acceptance in people who will never understand. Not Akako, because there is always a price. Not Saguru, because there is always a question. Not Aoko, because there is always doubt.

Not Shinichi, because there is always-

_ “I slept with Ran.” _

_ “...What?” _

-Her.


	2. Love and Hate

Nakamori Aoko is a normal girl.

She’s just a normal university student, with good friends and a busy, but loving, father. Aoko has her father’s temper, but her late mother’s sweetness. She’s proud of being her father’s daughter and grateful to him for raising her on his own as best he could.

She’s normal, and that’s why she loves things that aren’t.

Her childhood friend and first love, Kuroba Kaito. A charmer, wildly intelligent, dangerously daring, and blindingly dazzling. He had captivated her with his magic and his smile from the very beginning.

But  _ something  _ \- and to this day she has no idea what it was - had crept between them. Silent and cold. Kaito stopped coming out with her as often. Responded to texts later. For a while, she wondered if she had done something to push him away unintentionally.

Her mind arrived at one possible answer.

Time passed as her feelings simmered and rolled, darker thoughts and self-deprecation seeping into the cracks in her heart. Eventually, as her efforts to reconnect with Kaito failed one after another, Aoko accepted things for what they were: over before they had even truly begun.

When she was little, she adored shiny toys and cute things. Now that she’s older…

Hakuba Saguru is the same. Wildly intelligent… much more of a gentleman than Kaito had been. 

But again - blindingly dazzling.

She’d thought things would be different this time.

Aoko stares into her coffee cup, at the latte art of a puppy. “Have you… ever loved something so much, that you just started to  _ hate it?” _

Kuroba Chikage’s expression reveals nothing as she takes a sip of her own coffee, slow and easy. “I have,” she says smoothly, simply.

Aoko falls silent. She has no idea how to go about explaining her confusing feelings, or if speaking to Chikage of all people is the right thing to do, but the woman had been in love with-

“Did you ever feel that way about Toichi-san?”

Chikage’s smile turns sour.

“When we first started dating,” she answers, “I started to wonder… how someone so amazing could have possibly fallen in love with me.” Her coffee cup clinks against its saucer, and she fixes Aoko with a serious, pointed gaze. “But you see, Aoko-chan, feelings like that are just stupid. They’re just about insecurity. They’re  _ excuses.” _

Aoko flushes pink. “E-Excuses?”

Chikage reclines back against her seat, temporarily backing off. “Who is this about?”

“Um-” Aoko flounders. Who  _ is _ it about, really? Kaito? Saguru? Herself? “Everyone,” she decides, uncertain. Chikage makes her feel like she’s taking a test, and that giving the wrong answer will have serious consequences. But maybe that’s what she gets for calling her all the way to a cafe in the next town over just to make sure no one sees them and for poking at the widow’s old wounds for her own self-satisfaction.

“I see.”

She’s never seen Chikage look so… well, then again, she’s never  _ not  _ been around Chikage when she wasn’t cheerful and smiling and a little too crazy for Kaito to handle.

“You’re just running away,” Chikage murmurs quietly into her porcelain cup. “You don’t think you’re good enough, amazing enough, to be loved like that.”

Smiling faces in crowds around a magic show, awestruck faces in crowds around a promising young detective. No matter who it is, Aoko is always left behind as the object of her affections stands in the spotlight.

She used to love how much people depended on them and their strengths.

Now she can’t help but feel irritated.

It’s like eagerly standing outside the door, expecting to be let in, assuming that  _ she,  _ among all others, would be  _ special _ to them. But that hadn’t been the case. Not for Kaito, who had left her behind, and not for Saguru, who she is afraid is now doing the same.

“Because things are getting hard, you’re searching for excuses to give up,” Chikage says bluntly, and Aoko’s cheeks redden with humiliation. She hadn’t been expecting a conversation like this. “It makes me wonder, Aoko-chan…” 

Aoko swallows as Chikage’s tone grows heavy, but empty all the same.

“Do you even actually love Kaito in the first place?”

The coffee cups clatter in their saucers as Aoko shoots up and out of her seat, slamming her palms on the cafe table with enough force that the room goes silent as other customers turn their gazes towards them.

With gritted teeth, Aoko says, “Kaito is still the person I love the most! And I don’t want to hear that from someone who wasn’t  _ here  _ when he needed them-”

Aoko gapes.

She lifts her gaze to Chikage’s shocked expression, then glances out around the cafe long enough to realize what a ruckus she’s caused.

“Oh my god,” she rushes out in a frantic whisper, horrified, and hurriedly makes her way to Chikage’s side, grabbing the woman by her upper arms and clutching to her tightly. “What I said just now- I’m sorry! I didn’t mean that I swear! I just-”

Chikage stops her with a gentle hand to her too-tight grip. With a strained smile, she says, “Let’s change locations, hm?”

The knot in Aoko’s throat doesn’t loosen even after they’ve paid and made their way to a nearby park. Every time she swallows, she chokes.

Chikage leans against a railing at the top of one of the park’s high hills overlooking the city. The sun is beginning to set, dying the world in furious orange.

“I left Kaito in Jii-san’s care because I couldn’t look at his face without seeing Toichi.”

Aoko is too ashamed to stand beside her.

“It was even worse when I thought about how he was going to follow his father’s footsteps… in more ways than one.” Chikage’s expression crumples. “But that doesn’t mean I love him any less,” she whispers. “I spent time in Paris because that was where I first met Toichi, and I was afraid of forgetting him. But by the time I felt like I was…  _ okay, _ I genuinely couldn’t come back because of work, and Kaito was already well into his training.”

Chikage tilts her head up, leaning back but holding onto the railing. “Kaito knew that I just  _ couldn’t. _ Maybe that makes me a horrible mother, but he… he didn’t need me,” she turned and looked at Aoko. “Because he had people like  _ you.” _

“...Huh?” Aoko blinks.

A gentle, chilling breeze sweeps over them, dissolving the stone in Aoko’s throat.

_ “Normal _ people, Aoko-chan. What Kaito needed at that time wasn’t his hurting, eccentric mother, but normal people like you and Ginzo-san and Jii-san who could show him that the world doesn’t end just because someone you love is gone.”

“...Normal?” Aoko echoes hollowly.

“That’s why,” Chikage takes her hands. “No matter what you’re thinking about right now when it comes to Kaito or yourself, I want you to know that you’re irreplaceable to him. You always have been.”

Numbly, Aoko nods her head.

Numbly, she lets Chikage take her home and numbly, she listens from her open bedroom window as Kaito screeches at his mother’s return.

_ What… am I doing? _

She stares at the floor.

Is this kind of person she is now? The type that hates the people most important to her for petty reasons? Who insults the adults in her life she actually respects?

With a shaky breath, Aoko covers her face.

She whispers into her dark and silent childhood bedroom, shoulders shaking.

_ “I hate myself.” _

Nakamori Aoko is a normal girl. 

A normal girl with a horrible, miserable habit of falling in love with people who are just too bright to touch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow Aoko is hard to write considering I don't absolutely adore her the way I do Kaito and Shinichi but oh well!!


	3. Kindness and Cruelty

Kudou Shinichi stares, frozen, at the sight of his childhood friend and first love, standing emotionlessly in the doorway to his home and absolutely soaked by the rain.

“...Ran?” he whispers, the sound nearly washed away by the noise outside.

She looks up at him, her eyes empty, the smile loved by everyone who knows her nowhere to be found. “Shinichi,” she says back simply.

Reaching out slowly, as if she may crumble and fall apart where she stands if he makes a single wrong move, Shinichi ushers her inside. Ran is silent, her stare far, far away, as he gently takes her hand and leads her up the stairs to the nearest bathtub.

Shinichi’s footsteps are uncertain, Ran’s are hollow.

He passes her some of his mother’s old pajamas, sure she’ll want to stay the night, and Ran stays in the bath for a long time. Shinichi takes the chance to contact her father, cringing because she’s not even humming a song as she soaked like she used to, back when he was still her little brother.

Slow and gentle, Shinichi sets a mug of hot chocolate down in front of a freshly-washed Ran. The bath had cleaned her up on the outside, but the inside…

Holding the hot ceramic in her hands, Ran stares into the dark, foamy surface. “He…”

Shinichi watches her, waiting as the tension threatens to seize his chest.

“He said I wasn’t attractive.”

“Who?”

“My boyfriend.”

Shinichi’s left eye twitches. “What happened?”

Slowly, Ran looks up at him. She hesitates, licking her lips. “He said I was more like an older sister to him.”

Shinichi feels the air leave his lungs like a punch to the stomach. His tongue sticks to the top of his mouth and suddenly, a pebble lodges itself in his throat.

Ran’s impassive stare returns to her hot chocolate. “We broke up.”

He can’t speak, can’t say anything to her. How could he? They’d broken up for the same reason and it had caused a lot of pain on both sides. Just when the two of them had seemed to move on, Ran goes through that same pain a second time? He can’t imagine the thoughts running through her mind right now.

“We broke up, and then I…” Ran swallows thickly, and Shinichi sees the moment her own words finally register in her mind, her eyes shining with unshed tears. “I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go-”

“It’s fine,” Shinichi cuts her off with a strength in his voice that he doesn’t actually have. Quieting himself, he tries again more softly, “It’s fine.”

Ran seems to curl into herself, watching him with uncertain eyes before finally taking a sip from her hot chocolate. “Wh-Where’s Kaito-kun? I don’t see him around tonight…”

Shinichi shakes his head, his bangs bouncing around his forehead. “He went home earlier. Something about a bad feeling that his mother is returning from overseas.”

“Oh… I see,” Ran says, just for the sake of it.

Silence falls between them, lighter than before, but Shinichi thinks he can see Ran’s grief creep over her shoulders and take hold of her, right in this moment, with the rain drumming tirelessly against the glass of the windows.

She had always worn her heart on her sleeve. Doesn’t she know that makes it easy to stab it?

When Ran retreats into herself, Shinichi knows there’s nothing he can do about it. He has no right to comfort her anymore, so when the clock claps once, they go their separate ways in the mansion.

Maybe tomorrow, when Ran has a better grip…

Shinichi stares at the ceiling of his bedroom, thunder and lightning occasionally shifting the shadows and ringing in his ears.

How is it that he’s only ever hurt the people he loves when he tries so hard to save them?

He’d made every sacrifice for Ran, back then. Everything he had, and it still wasn’t enough. Both of them had been left broken, wounded, and scarred after clinging to hope, after clinging to familiarity. Stubbornly. Foolishly. 

Shinichi turns to lay on his side.

Sometimes, when Kaito isn’t around to chase his darker thoughts away with a pop of confetti or the flutter of white wings or even just a small smile, he wonders just how long they have left in each other’s lives before he hurts  _ him  _ too.

One day, Kaito will lay broken in his arms, just like Ran had, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

Screwing his eyes shut, Shinichi covers his ears with a pillow.

“Good morning…” Ran murmurs, standing in the doorway to the kitchen and passing up a tiny smile that immediately drops.

“Good morning,” Shinichi returns smoothly, already awake and sipping at his coffee.

If either of them notice the bags under each other’s eyes, neither of them say anything about it.

“I don’t think either of us is in the mood to cook breakfast,” Shinichi stands up from the table, folding his newspaper. “You can borrow an outfit from my mom’s closet again, so let’s go out and get something to eat.”

“Maybe I should go home first,” Ran says instead. “I didn’t tell my dad anything last night…”

“Don’t worry about that,” Shinichi replies, shaking his head. “I already called him. Let’s go eat, and then if there’s anywhere else you want to go today…” he smiles lightly. “I’ll treat you.”

Ran opens her mouth, prepared to protest, but takes in his fragile smile and realizes last second that Shinichi doesn’t know how to help her in any other way right now. “...The new cafe you promised you’d go to with me has pancakes.”

“Okay, let’s do that.”

The pancakes are fluffy and sweet but the conversation isn’t.

“I think I’ll take a break from dating,” Ran says quietly, her words almost buried under the din of cafe noise.

Shinichi nods, just for the sake of it, and takes a sip from his third coffee of the morning. He wishes Sonoko were here. Not only could she help soothe Ran’s hurt, but she’d be able to fill the silence between them with a rant about how ungrateful and undeserving her ex is. Then maybe Ran would smile properly.

“Shinichi…”

“Hm?” He hums in answer, looking up and pushing all thoughts of secretly calling Sonoko away for now.

“Why did you choose Kaito-kun over me?”

Shinichi stares at her in open surprise. “What?” He manages to choke out.

As if just now realizing what she’d asked, Ran blinks and runs a nervous hand through her hair. “I-I’m sorry, that was really insensitive of me, but I just-” she purses her lips. “I’m just trying to understand. Why  _ him?” _

He truly can’t understand what is going through his best friend’s head right now. How should he answer that question? Will answering help her feel better at all?

Then he starts to think. What  _ is _ it about Kaito exactly that makes Shinichi love him so much? To the point where he’d chosen him over the woman of his destiny?

It’s easy to talk to Kaito, Kaito understands him. 

Shinichi opens his mouth to answer, but then stops cold.  _ If I say it’s because he understands me, doesn’t that imply that Ran doesn’t?  _ Because that’s not true either. Ran  _ does  _ understand him. How could she not, after growing up with him and spending so many years by his side? She knows when he hasn’t had enough coffee in the morning, can tell when he hasn’t slept because of a long case. She knows he isn’t a fan of sweets, deals with it when he makes promises he can’t keep.

So then, why does Kudou Shinichi love Kuroba Kaito?

Shinichi unsticks his thick tongue from the roof of his mouth, something inside of him horrified and panicked, “I don’t kn-”

A loud clatter somewhere inside the shop has both their heads turning, and Shinichi  _ hopes  _ it’s another murder, but it’s not - it’s  _ not, _ and that’s what destroys everything.

“Kaito is still the person I love the most! And I don’t want to hear that from someone who wasn’t  _ here _ when he needed them-”

Nakamori Aoko is there, the first love of Shinichi’s current boyfriend, shouting her feelings into Kuroba Chikage’s face, in public.

Ran turns her head to look at him with raised brows at the situation, but her expression turns into confusion and concern when she sees him staring, rooted to his seat and eyes unblinking as the women hurriedly leave the cafe with a flurry of apologies. When they’re out of sight, he turns a frightened look to her, as if remembering what he was about to say, then shoots up out of his chair, fumbling. “I-I’m sorry, Ran, but I have to-”

“Shinichi?!” She demands, tone rising. “Wait, what’s wrong? Who were those people? Did she say  _ Kaito?” _

But he isn’t listening, he’s fumbling with his wallet and slamming enough down bills to cover their meal and a ride home, his face reddening.

He sweeps out of the cafe doors, and Ran watches him as he passes by the windows, his knuckles pressed to his lips and face red, expression wound up with something akin to panic and…

She realizes with a start that she’s never seen that face on him before.

Humiliation. That’s what he feels as he takes to the still-wet streets, mind buzzing and barely registering the people around him as he weaves through the weekend morning crowds clumsily. Somehow, someway, he finds himself at home, safe, his feet taking him upstairs to their shared bedroom.

Kaito isn’t there.

_ Why?  _ Shinichi wonders, screwing his eyes shut.  _ You’re always here when I need you, so where are you now?  _ Kaito should be here, lounging on the bed and humming a tune while scrolling through his tablet, turning to greet him cheerfully and ask where he’s been. Shinichi should be telling him about Ran, should be asking for advice on how to help her, should be able to hug Kaito and inhale his scent and feel better himself, after what he just saw in that cafe.

But he’s not here.

_ Why?  _ He asks again, the question echoing in his empty mind.  _ Is it because you have Aoko-san back now? _

Shinichi wants to need Kaito, but more than that, he wants Kaito to need  _ him. _

So when Ran comes over again that night, the two of them can be found sitting silently in his room, mugs of tea between them, like a repeat of the night before. Stewing in their thoughts, they turn the past few days’ events around in their minds, and then, Ran wonders aloud if she’s even attractive in the first place, and he unthinkingly answers “yes,” so...

He doesn’t stop her when she presses against him and slots her lips with his.

But when she pushes him against the desk in his room, when her hands wander a little too far, Shinichi reaches back to the familiar little watch behind him, and puts her to sleep, swollen red lips twisting into a sad smile.

He lays her in his bed, fixing her clothes a little and setting the covers over her. It would be great if she doesn't remember any of this come morning. He sits at the edge of the bed, listening to her soft breathing and letting his thoughts swirl in his dark bedroom.

His phone rings.

_ “Ah, Shinichi! Sorry I didn’t call sooner, the pump at Blue Parrot failed and the rain from last night flooded the whole bar! I’ve been helping Jii-chan with it all day.” _

“Is everything okay now?”

_ “Yeah! We sorted everything out with the insurance company and I managed to get the pump working too, but the bar will be closed for a while for repairs. ...Anyways, how did your day go? I promise I’ll come over first thing tomorrow morning.” _

Shinichi smiles. “You don’t have to come over anymore.”

_ “What do you mean? We both know you can’t live on coffee for breakfast every morning, Shinichi.”  _

Kaito’s laugh makes his chest warm, the way it always does, but he doesn’t need Shinichi. Ran does. Just like how Kaito needs Aoko, and Aoko needs him.

Besides…

_ Aoko-san, at least, knows that she loves you. _

But Kaito holds on stubbornly when Shinichi brushes him off, pushes him away.

So Shinichi latches onto the one thing he’s  _ sure  _ will shut down any arguments. After all, just as Shinichi knows how important Aoko’s existence is to Kaito, Kaito knows how important Ran’s existence is to him.

He  _ uses  _ that fact.

“I slept with Ran.”

_ “…What?” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two Truths and a Lie, Answer Key:  
> A.) Kaito is tired of everything.  
> B.) Shinichi is the liar.  
> C.) Aoko still loves Kaito more than anything, just not in the way Chikage misunderstands.
> 
> Game Over. Start again?  
> ► Yes No


End file.
